How To Protect Your Children During A Divorce
A divorce is a sad end to a once happy relationship and is made even more complex when there are children involved. The children may not understand what is happening and may take it badly. It is up to you as parents to make sure that your children remain shielded during such a time. Ensure that they remain loved and keep the darker details away from them. Do not make them choose between the two of you; if not, you may cause more damage than you know. Here are a few ways to keep the children protected during a divorce.
Don’t seek justice in court
No matter how slighted you feel or how much evidence you may have to prove you are right to seek a divorce, you will not find justice in court. What most parents do not know is that the court system is more akin to a battlefield than a place to seek honest redress. Going to trial will not guarantee anything as several things could go wrong for you. As much as possible, settle for out-of-court solutions because, at a trial, your story, words, disposition, and issues can be used against you. The disposition of the judge, the opposing attorney’s skill, and the rules of evidence may often shift the narrative, creating a nebulous situation that will not favor you. In court, only a version of the truth comes out, not the whole truth.
Do not restrict access
Remember that you are splitting from your partner, not cutting them off completely from the children. Studies prove that children who have access to both parents fare much better in the aftermath of a divorce. So if you plan to restrict access to the children, you are being unfair to your partner, and the children will suffer for it. Be sure to avoid being unrealistic when it comes to access and be conscious of your flaws and that of your partner. Find a compromise that will benefit the children most and not one partner. No matter how bad things may have turned out, your partner was once someone you shared good times with. The seeming normalcy of things will make it much easier for the children to adapt to the new situation and not strain the relationship they have with either parent. Having both parents in their lives will be very beneficial.
Keep a lid on your frustration
Usually, during a divorce, each party wants to be seen as right and will do things for sympathy. Do not toe that line; no matter how bad things are, do not spin the narrative in your favor. If not, you will be frustrated in the end, and it will show in your actions and utterances, which is something you do not want the children to see. As much as possible, keep a lid on your frustration and conduct yourself with decorum.
Your priority as a parent is to make sure that the children’s best interests are catered for. Protecting them in such a trying time should be the first thing you should consider before anything else.