5 Helpful parenting tips to help you when going through a divorce
As an adult, going through a divorce can be the worse experience in your entire life. Having to get yourself a lawyer (such as someone like this Chicago Divorce Lawyer), might be the hardest thing you have to do. No matter how you go about it, divorce will never be easy. A divorce is the ending of a relationship and one that many will grieve for a long period of time before moving on to a new relationship. If you are a parent, filing for divorce is even harder as not only do you have to take into consideration your future but also your kids future. Working through a divorce with children is challenging as there are so many feelings and emotions that come into play that it can be hard to do the right thing as it is often easier to stay in a relationship even if it is not the best course of action. Sometimes the right decision is the hardest one to stick to. This goal of this article is to highlight some things that you can do as a parent while going through a divorce.
- Love your children. Of course you love your children! We are not saying that you don’t. This tip is just about helping your child understand that no matter what happens, you will always love them. Children can feel lost or at fault when their parents go through a divorce and they often need to be reminded of a parent’s unconditional love. The more you express your love for the child, the more comfortable your child will feel and the happier they will be.
- Offer reassurance and security. Kids find change to be very scary whether it be moving to a new town or watching their parents separate and divorce. Kids internalize much of what is going on and worry that their parents are splitting up because of them. Often times parents may get into an argument and the children may be part of the cause of the argument. Different parenting styles or daily stressors can cause parents to argue and disagree on things regarding their children. Children then internalize this as they are the reason their parents are splitting up. This is why it is imperative to try to keep your conversations with your ex out of eyesight of your children. In addition, you want to provide reassurance and a sense of security for your children. Reassure them that they are not the reason you and your spouse are splitting up.
- Listen to your kids and pay attention to their behavior. Now more than ever, it is important that you pay attention to your children and offer them your undivided attention when you spend time together. If you notice that your children are behaving in a way that is abnormal, it is something to take note of and talk to their teacher at school to see if they too are seeing the same thing you are. If so, you may want to consider taking your child to a therapist who will be able to help them work through their thoughts and feelings.
- Read your children books about divorce and talk to them about it. There are many great books on the market that help kids understand that no matter what their parents are going through, their parents still love their kids unconditionally. One book that is particularly helpful for children is called “Two Homes.” This book provides a look at a child’s life who experiences living with two parents in two homes. It is a great way to discuss the situation with your child and help normalize it for them.
- Be consistent in your visits with your kids. It is critical to be consistent with your visitation with your kids. If you are supposed to see your kids on Mondays and Wednesdays, be sure that every Monday and Wednesday you are there for your children. Your children love and need you and will want to see you. It would be detrimental to them to break your scheduled time with them as this will cause them to again begin to internalize and think that you don’t want to be around them as well as the other parent.